Recently I was introduced to the concept of Wabi-sabi and felt inspired, reassured and comforted. Years ago I practiced Zen meditation sitting for hours in what always seemed like the middle of the night. I loved the philosophy of 'Zen mind, beginner's mind.' However, for me, hunting the Zen mind proved to be elusive.
I am blessed with a mind that often darts around like a spiralling hummingbird. The next moment I can become riveted by my compulsions, or inspiration, to focus intently until the journey ends, who knows where. Wabi-sabi offers me a vision of myself and this world that is imperfect, unfinished, and transient. This translates as encouragement to be wholly myself. While learning to accept this older, hopefully wiser me, I celebrate this imperfect reality, which in itself can be freedom, if I choose it to be. There is beauty and appreciation in the perfection of imperfection, in myself and those I love!
For those of us growing into our wisdom and evolving new bodies as we age, we can gain much from practicing the principles of wabi-sabi. We can learn to love the weathering of our bodies, the grey streaks in our hair, and the laugh lines on our faces. Wabi-sabi nurtures all that is authentic by acknowledging three simple realities: nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect.
Generally speaking, 'wabi' had the original meaning of sad, desolate, and lonely, but poetically it has come to mean simple, unmaterialistic, humble by choice, and in tune with nature. Someone who is perfectly herself and never craves to be anything else would be described as wabi. 'Sabi' by itself means 'the bloom of time.' It connotes natural progression-tarnish, hoariness, and the extinguished gloss of that which once sparkled. It's the understanding that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
How do we see ourselves, and our souls?
Pared down to its barest essence, wabi-sabi is the Japanese art of finding beauty in imperfection and profundity in nature, of accepting the natural cycle of growth, decay, and death. It's simple, slow, and uncluttered, and it reveres authenticity above all.
Wabi-sabi is flea markets, not warehouse stores; aged wood, not Formica. It celebrates cracks and crevices and all the other marks that time, weather, and loving use leave behind. It reminds us that we are all but transient beings on this planet. Our bodies as well as the material world around us are in the process of returning to the dust from which we came. Through wabi-sabi, we learn to embrace liver spots, rust, frayed edges, and the march of time they represent. Developing our 'wabigokoro', or wabi mind and heart, means living modestly and appreciating what we have. It means learning to be satisfied with life as it can be once we strip away the unnecessary and live more in the moment.
A group of women friends recently talked about wabi-sabi in their lives. One talked about her granddaughter loving her 'soft old woman skin.' Once she got over her the shock she realized her skin was soft in a new way and appreciated her granddaughter's revelation.
Another talked about her hands that gardened, painted, and loved and that her Southern grandmother prized white soft hands as a sign of femininity and would have scorned those hands. Instead my friend loves her hands for all that they accomplish and still sees them as womanly hands.
Until I learned about wabi-sabi I was struggling to accept that I am growing older. In two days it will be my Birthday, one step away from being alive for six decades. I have been struggling with not accomplishing all I want to do and with fear of what growing older means to my body. With wabi-sabi I am more compassionate with myself and see my beauty. I may be scarred and greying but I am more alive and feel more beautiful than I ever have in my life. Today I see the scars on my body as roadmaps which I have travelled and the wisdom I have gained through those journeys.
Osho: "Do not search. That which is, is. Stop and see." For this week's exercise see the wabi-sabi in your life. See the beauty in the weathering of a relationship, the grace of a cracked porcelain bowl, the roadmaps of your scars. How do you feel about the weave of this wabi-sabi? Write down your feelings. They will help you remember all of who you are when the fears and expectations strive to throttle your spirit. While your soul is eternal, fears and expectations will pass.
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