PEGGY O'NEILL: In challenging times, as these are, we can easily fall prey to self-doubt and self-criticism. Exactly when we need to be most effective to move onward and upward, our negative thinking can knock us down and cripple us.

So, here is perhaps the most powerful and effective tool to overcome the deflating affects of your own inner critical judgments - and to help you WALK TALL through your life.

Just weeks before my graduation from Art Center College, the dean told me no one would hire me as a 'pro' photographer because I was a little person. Within a year of graduating, I moved to Kona, Hawaii and basically 'dropped-out', never utilizing my 4-year, super-challenging and zillion dollar education.

The dean's words were not my biggest downfall; it was my choice to internalize his words that was my doom. I started telling myself repeatedly: "I'll never get hired." And every time I did, I got 'smaller' and 'smaller' inside. No surprise - I never got hired.

While we cannot control what others say to us, we certainly can control, can choose, what we say to ourselves! And when we engage in repeating the attacks and criticism we receive from others, we are engaging in the number one cause of 'inner smallness': letting the critical voice inside beat us down.

A tool I have found to be extremely powerful and effective is to defend against inner attacks by silencing them. We don't have to change our thoughts, don't have to argue with ourselves over whether we really are smart enough, good enough, or whatever enough. No. Simply silence the critical voice.

Begin by paying attention to your thoughts. Become aware of the dialogue that goes on inside your mind while you walk, drive, eat, work, chat with a friend, and so on. This skill grows with practice. Whenever you notice your thinking is negative in any way, demeaning, cruel or attacking - defend yourself! Firmly command that critical voice to STOP! or GO AWAY! Then take a deep breath, release the tension. Get BIG inside, feel your inner power.

To stay empowered, we must protect our inner strength by silencing our own critical voices that pummel us down! This one simple technique can empower and free you in ways beyond your imagination. It did for me. So, silence that critical inner voice, get BIG inside, and you'll surely find yourself WALKING TALL!

Walking Tall Tip:
Once you become skilled at silencing your own critical voice, help your friends. When you hear them say negative things about themselves, politely bring it to their attention. One of my dear friend reminds me with her kind mantra: "No negative self-talk, my friend!" It's very supportive and helps me catch myself more often.

Walking Tall Exercise: Spot and Stop
Make a list of the things your critical voice says to you most often. Write in a stream of consciousness, not caring about grammar or punctuation. When you think you have written everything, think again. Go deeper. List the criticisms you heard as a child and teenager. Read your list. Underline the attacks that still echo inside.

Silencing the Inner Critic
The more you become conscious of the specific words, messages, and cruel attacks that hide in your subconscious or unconscious mind, the easier it will be to spot them - so you can STOP them! Spot and stop. Repeat this exercise, especially when the going gets tough.