RORY KELLY CONNOR: We live in a superficial society. Superficial defined is that which exists at, on, or near the surface. In other words, concerned with what is obvious or shallow. You know what I am talking about: skin deep. Propagated by a multibillion dollar advertising and media machine, we have become convinced of an image of what that surface should look like, feel like, smell like, and be. And we have been spending trillions of dollars each year working hard to become something we are not or that will never be more than superficial.

Beauty. Youth. Thinness. Flawless skin. Blinding white, perfect teeth. Rock-hard bodies at every age. Wrinkle-free faces. Bountiful gravity-free breasts. Blemish-free skin. Perfect clothing and accessories. The list goes on and on based on who is selling what to us. Most especially, we feed these messages relentlessly to our women and girls; yet, our men and boys feel the push as well. Instead of “Be the best you, you can be,” we have sold in “Be like this one.”

Crawling Out of Our Skin

As the collective, we have become obsessed with the surface, searching for a feeling of being worthy, being lovable, based on what we look like, how we appear - a standard set by people who are fully dedicated to taking our money, repeatedly (ergo the need to set an often unobtainable standard), and convincing us that they have the answers to happiness. And, for a long time now, we bought it all - hook, line and sinker. But that sinker didn’t go deep enough, and we can feel that now, often acutely. You see, not only our wallets have been left empty. So, too, society’s heart and Soul, felt deeply by each one of us.

Despite the never-ending cult-like onslaught of the brainwashing mega-corporate sales machines at work, humanity, one by one, is awakening to the truth. We have become fatigued and beaten down by the endless cycle of trying to be good enough, as good at that one, like something we are not.

For many, the frustration has risen to a pain level that has become unbearable. And this pain is causing an awakening, something the sales machine didn’t count on. People are literally crawling out of their skin with a need for something deeper, for depth, a dimension of emotional and spiritual profundity. Skin deep isn’t good enough anymore, because inherently, and blessedly, we are so much more than that.

Our Truth is Often Sunken Treasure 

As people awaken to the superficiality of much of our cultural standards, they are looking for something more meaningful, more true, to replace the shallow values they have been taught. Trained to look without – externally – for meaning, they don’t know how to start the process of finding their truth within. As Johann Wolfgang von Goethe so aptly pointed out, “It is easier to perceive error than to find truth, for the former lies on the surface and is easily seen, while the latter lies in the depth, where few are willing to search for it.” 

Yet, the pain is so acute that people have begun to diligently search for answers, for their truth. They are in a constant state of flux, uncomfortable in their own skin. After all, searching for sunken treasure is not an easy process with a roadmap one can follow. It is for exactly this reason that many people turn to professional Coaches for guidance and support when they can’t seem to find the answers on their own. By training and experience, great Coaches know how to take someone down deep into themselves, to identify the untrue or limiting beliefs, operating powerfully as “an interruption to the bullshit.” (pardon my candor) 

Going Deep 

Yes, most of us would like to try and fix what we can see, what is obvious, what is external to ourselves. We buy the products with the promises of being accepted and being fantastic. We work hard to perfect what others see so we can then check in with them to validate that we are perfect. That we are good enough. Lovable. Worthy. We lay it all on somebody else’s opinion of us. And bottom line, that is never enough. Because that is all about them, which doesn’t go deep enough to where it needs to reach – deep down inside of each one of us. 

The easy fix is usually not the best choice in the long run. How often have we found that to be true? Yes, the process of looking within, going deep, can feel daunting, be a scary prospect. Often, pain and anguish are buried there, remnants of what we thought would go away if we just decided not to look at it. Yet, as James Campbell put it so eloquently, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.” 

Hidden deep down in the depths of yourself is your hidden treasure. There you will find love, acceptance, worthiness, strength, healing and your truth. And these are the beautiful things about you that will last, that are timeless, that will set you free. And that, my dear friends, is worth you paying attention. Go deep!

Jan 9, 2012 - 4:33 PM

delores - It seems ironic ~ we live in a world of relativity where we are constantly comparing numbers (less than, greater than, equal to,) objects (bigger, smaller, longer...), situations (my story to another story) and people (prettier, taller, thinner...) creating much confusion in our minds. The gift is in knowing when these comparisons are beneficial (shoe size, dress size, skin colour match etc) and then how we can honor our uniqueness and celebrate our individuality. Wonderful article on going within to find our unique true self.