RORY KELLY CONNOR: How many times have you heard it said "Nice guys finish last." or "No good deed goes unpunished." over the course of your life? These cliches, born out of an ever-increasing and competitive business environment, have helped to propagate Darwin's theory of survival of the fittest, a model in which the last man standing or the one with more is the winner, no matter what he had to do to get to that position.

Yet, an interesting transformation in the business world has been occurring over the last few years, one that is proving that 'nice' companies and nice people are the ones ahead of the game. For instance, 'nice' companies have lower turnover, higher productivity, and lower recruitment costs - a powerfully positive effect on the bottom line.

Nice people are healthier, make more money, and live longer. Overwhelmingly, in today's interconnected global environment, it is the companies and people who have a reputation for fair play, integrity and cooperation that are forging the kind of relationships that lead to powerfully positive outcomes - better and bigger opportunities in business and people's personal lives. And it feels good, too.

As defined by Webster's online, the word 'nice' means pleasing, agreeable, delightful, amiably pleasant and kind. Sounds delicious. Yet, in recent decades, as business has flourished and the world has become increasingly competitive and sarcastic, the word has also taken on connotations that make nice seem wimpy, naive, ineffective, unintelligent, and lacking that killer instinct required to win.

Yet, Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval, co-authors of The Power of Nice: How to Conquer the Business World With Kindness, disagree. "Nice does not mean smiling blandly while others walk all over you. Nice is the toughest four-letter word you'll ever hear. It means moving forward with the clear-eyed confidence that comes from knowing that being very nice and placing other people's needs on the same level as your own will get you everything you want."

Together, Kaplan Thaler and Koval embraced the power of nice as their personal and business mantra many years ago when they founded their NYC-based advertising agency, The Kaplan Thaler Group, now one of the fastest growing agencies in the country with more than a billion dollars in billings. In The Power of Nice, they illustrate through true story after true story how nice (or lack of nice) is a force that transforms relationships and people's lives in a powerful way.

Six Power of Nice Principles

Why is the power of nice such a positively powerful force? Kaplan Thaler and Koval boil it down to the Six Power of Nice Principles. Keeping these principles in mind and habitually embracing them as a way of life not only feels great, it also keeps you open to any and all beneficial opportunities and possibilities the Universe is trying to throw your way. And it's all about relationships between people, whether those that spontaneously present themselves to you, with people you've known for years, or with people you interact with periodically in business.

#1: Positive impressions are like seeds. Every time you are nice, you send out positive energy. This energy affects the other person and is then passed along to a myriad of people with whom he or she interacts. In other words, it generates a multiplier effect. The waves of favourable impressions find their way back to you, like a domino effect, laying the groundwork for opportunities and positive interactions down the road. Like seeds, you plant them then forget about them. Yet, they continue to grow in the ground, expanding - often exponentially - until it is time for them to surface.

#2: You never know. It's very easy to be nice to the people we want something from, who are important or control opportunities we desire. Oftentimes, we're not so concerned about a stranger we meet on the street, thinking there is no value in being nice to a person we'll probably never see again. Yet, it's impossible to know that. This stranger is important to many people. When you treat this person as if he or she is the most important person in the world - and they are - you generate that same goodwill towards yourself among the network of people connected to this person. And you never know who those people are and how nice will come back around to you.

#3: People change. A very common mistake people make is assuming you only have to be nice to people at your level and above at work or in life. You think there's no need to be nice to support staff or the cleaning people because they have no power. Maybe that's true - now. Yet, in truth, you cannot know who might end up being extremely important to you in ten or twenty years from now. Nice has a long memory.

#4: Nice must be authentic. Being nice is an art, a habitual behaviour you incorporate into how you treat everyone. You don't pick and choose who you will be nice to and who you will not. You simply know and accept at a deep level that every nice gesture and action - big or small - has an enormous impact. Niceness counts.

#5: Negative impressions are like germs. Whenever you choose not to be nice or be aloof to someone you think is unimportant to you, the person will unconsciously react to your vibe. Where nice actions are like seeds, rude behaviours are like germs. You don't notice any initial impact as they fester invisibly and silently - secretly infecting your relationships to everyone around you, eventually causing what for some may be an incurable dis-ease.

#6: YOU will know. Not only does how you behave towards others affect them, it also deeply affects you. You may never again see the person you treated badly, but your subconscious will remember. You will carry it in your mind and heart every time you are trying to convince someone to believe in you, to have faith in your integrity. Knowing what you know about how you treat people, you will find it hard to believe in yourself. This feeling undermines your self-confidence and sense of integrity, and, often subconsciously conveyed, can then jeopardize the quality of both your business and personal relationships.

Why Nice People Finish First

I used to tease my best friend for life, Nancy, about how nice she was to everyone. Year after year, nice! While I valued this in her as a friend, I simply couldn't resist the urge to poke her once in a while with a bit of my preprogrammed judgmental attitudes about people (which I've since abandoned in favour of nice!). Time after time, she would say she always liked to look for the good in people and so always treated people nicely.

In addition to being the nicest person I knew, Nancy also happened to be the luckiest person I knew. Year after year, she would win the big prize at the holiday basket auction and even won a bit of money from a lottery ticket once. The niceness continued unabated and we began to joke about her anticipated winnings every time she bought a raffle ticket, knowing somehow the odds were in her favour. I stopped joking about the power of her niceness the year she purchased a raffle ticket and won a brand new car. Talk about nice!

The power of nice is not about being a yes-man and smiling no matter what is going on around you. It is not about manipulating people to get what you want or being a phoney with an agenda. The power is in valuing niceness - in yourself and others - just as you value other personality traits (like talent, intelligence or integrity). When you embrace the power of nice fully, it transforms your life. Then you quickly realize that treating others with respect, generosity and kindness, your niceness comes back around to you one way or another.

Just ask my best friend, Nancy.

Sep 21, 2011 - 9:38 PM

Dr. Katie Garnett -

Rory, great article, thank you, Katie

Sep 19, 2011 - 12:40 PM

Linda and Robin -

Rory, thank you so much for sharing our six POWER OF NICE principles. We're true believers that NICE guys--and gals--finish first. The key is to remember that being NICE does not mean being a doormat. When you value kindess, you can make tough decisions, manage effectively, and make it to the top, all while planting positive seeds along the way.

And if you would like to check out more of our NICE advice, we invite you to stop by our blog! http://bit.ly/jaVBHv

Sep 17, 2011 - 1:01 PM

jane Saracino -

Love this article!!!

Sep 16, 2011 - 8:41 PM

Martha Sotomayor -

Congratulación sincerily, my best from Mexico