I disagree. I have learned that respect must be given, freely and unreservedly, upon the very first second of laying eyes on somebody, before you know anything about them. Nothing should come between you and initially showering someone with utmost respect. I know this is not what we have been taught. We have been conditioned to believe that respect is earned, that it is to be deserved.
Respect that is earned is established through a relationship of getting to know someone. In order to determine if someone has proven them selves to be respect worthy, we must move into a place of judgment.
From that lofty place I can certainly critically determine the criteria for bestowing my respect. I can say, "Yes you have behaved in accordance with my standards and so I will respect you, or no you have failed miserably, therefore I cannot respect you." But what on earth gives me the right to make those decisions? Believing you have the right to bestow or refuse respect is a trick of the ego playing power games.
Me, deciding to deem someone or something respect worthy has no meaning whatsoever to conscious evolution. Only being
respectful or disrespectful affects the evolution of humanity.
Behaving Respectfully Lies in Giving Unconditional Respect
Respect is the corner stone of civilization. Without respect we will never learn to communicate openly and peacefully with one another, which is essential if we ever hope to manifest a global vision for peace and sustainability.
We must learn to cultivate a value for respect for our fellow human beings, the natural kingdoms of our world and indeed for our lives if we wish to survive.
We must learn to respect the paths of those that have gone before us, respect the mistakes they have made so as not to repeat them, respect their accomplishments, for without them we would have yet to do those same things. We are all connected beyond the linear expression of time. My ancestors affect me just as I affect my future lineage.
We must respect the ways and cultures of others; diversity is our greatest strength.
We must respect our youth because we know the trials and tribulations that lie before them and only the respect we advance them will encourage them to access their own potential to solve those issues. They hold the key to our future.
We must respect our elders and parents for they are our teachers, good or bad, strong or weak, brave or cowardly, their journeys have been as challenging as our own; they all did the best they could do - just as we do. The ones that have gone before us have laid the foundations upon which we build our own lives.
We must respect our enemies, the perpetrators of all that is decent and just, our abusers, and our pain brokers. This is obviously the most difficult challenge with respect.
Respecting the Enemy
It's easy to respect nice easy-going people, but what about when we're facing murderers, rapists, child molesters, etc? Unconditional respect means for everyone, not just those we like. Our enemies bring us the worst of life's lessons to heal in our own consciousness.
Respect doesn't mean we have to like someone and it doesn't mean we have to agree with or condone the choices they make. It doesn't mean we have to comply to their codes and ethics either. It simply means that we need to acknowledge their presence and honour their role as a vital piece of humanity's wholeness, growth and evolution. Every being plays a valuable role in the conscious evolution of life for us all.
As far as feeling admiration or esteem...well, I try to assume that I just don't know the whole picture, and that I don't know all that is to be known about any one person. I do trust however that there is soul genius in everybody no matter what their choices have led them to manifest their lives. If their life journeys have led them into dark places I try to focus on their spark of light no matter how faint it may appear and turn my attention to whatever emotions I personally feel stirred in my own being by bearing witness to their actions.
Every ounce of rage, anger, fear, hatred, resentment, bitterness and envy we feel within our own body and soul must be healed in order to evolve past the need for our transgressors. As we indulge self-righteously in these emotions we inadvertently feed that darkness, adding our power to it. Remember that when we feel triggered by others, we are actually facing unresolved personal issues based in our own experiences. Evolution will not be hastened by standing in resistance to the opposition. Only through grace and acknowledgment will we be able to move through these difficult pieces of our shared humanity. What is in you is in me is in all living things. We are more the same than we are different.
Practicing Respect Makes Perfect
Respect is one of the 5 Reiki Precepts I had to learn in my experience of being a Reiki student, practitioner and teacher. I discovered that truth would only be revealed fully when we are stable enough to witness it without judgment. This stability is fully grounded in unconditional respect. When I began to practice unconditional respect, I found developing within my essential being, a feeling of deep compassion and faith in myself, my clients and humanity in its entirety. When we practice respect and understand that we are each capable of doing everything that another has done given the same circumstances, karma, conditioning, genetics etc. no matter how disturbing, we can humbly accept that "there but for the grace of God go I."
Respect, of course must start with you, from the inside out. When you look in the mirror you must see it there. Are you going to wait for someone else to respect you before you choose to respect yourself? To whom do you assign the power to make you feel respect worthy? I urge you to find it within yourself and share it with all you can as often as you can. Consciousness will shift as we each experience self respect, for then we will fully appreciate the value of one another. In the meantime you can help this process along by practicing unconditional respect everywhere you turn especially when you are feeling challenged the most.
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