Months earlier the invitations were sent, the caterers hired, the arrangements made and they decided on their ceremony. Funny, vows are often the last thing they think about yet the vows they make to one another during a few short moments reflect their commitment and dedication to one another for the rest of their lives.
In one of the more popular services I am requested to use
the couple is advised that there is an art to any creative activity and in marriage this means being flexible. They are reminded in order to be successful in their marriage it will be necessary to cultivate flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour. Above all else, they should develop the capacity to forgive and heal their differences day by day and to remember that love will prevail. Love will be the miracle always inviting them to learn, to blossom, and to expand their horizons.
At this point I would like to stop and explain to them that they should encourage their love to change. Otherwise their awareness will never increase and they will miss the opportunity to develop an even deeper relationship. What they have today may be wonderful, but what grows over time is extraordinary! There will be times when they will wonder why they chose this person to share their life with? However, if they are persistent in developing a loving and meaningful relationship, they will uncover the answers.
Too often couples will dissolve their marriage before giving it a chance to heal, mature and become all it can be. True, there are situations where it is better to let go, but these are usually cases where the love of self and respect for one another is absent. It is through their hardships as a couple, during the ups and downs that will reveal the strength and importance of their relationship. They may find that they are the better personally and as spouses when they have weathered a storm together. As in all of life's lessons, they will need to look back, not with anger or regret but with eyes wide open to see what was learned, what patterns were uncovered and what path they need to take in order to become the better for it. Great joy and happiness is often revealed through tears and misfortune. They may need to remind themselves that the past is over and each day before them is another opportunity to start again.
Perhaps it wouldn't be such a bad idea if couples renewed their vows daily as a positive affirmation. Too often the daily grind of bills, work and raising a family get in the way of the positive things of spirit. Making a point to take time for each other, to talk, pray together, simply to have fun and find the beauty in their lives can make such a difference in a relationship.
Above all else, there needs to be balance so neither one feels they are being controlled by the other. Balance in words spoken where each one knows they can trust what the other is saying to be sincere and honest. Balance in actions where each treats the other with respect and honours their role in the relationship. Balance in knowing there may be times when one will need to be the leader, times when one must be the follower but more often times when the two will walk as one, together through life. It is during these times that inner strength and unconditional love is born.
The moment has arrived when I will pronounce them husband and wife or life partners and they will smile lovingly at each other and no doubt tears will be falling gently down a cheek or two. As I smile and declare them to be married, I silently pray for them, requesting God's blessing upon them asking that they will remember the vows they have pledged here this day and that they will have the strength to persevere all odds, overcome all hardships and stand beside one another for whatever lies before them. Then above all else, I will quietly ask that their angels watch over them and assist them in never giving up on each other for no greater gift is given to us than to be able to share our love with another.
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Biography
