Though we may have no choice in unexpected events that happen to us, we most certainly have choice in how we interpret what happens, and in what we choose to do about it. These choices make all the difference in how we experience our lives and world.
Neither does what we own play a major role in quality of life. One person with all the money and possessions in the world may have a miserable life, while another in the lowest income bracket may absolutely love their life. It is what we do with what we own that affects our level of satisfaction and joy in life. It's not what you possess or what happens to you in life that matters, but rather what you do with it.
Every moment something is happening in our lives. And every moment we make interpretations or judgments about what happens. By choosing to become more conscious of how we react to what happens, we can shift towards what we really want in our lives. Rather than following habitual, reactive patterns, which lead to more of the same, we can recognize and transform our old habits to move powerfully in the direction of creating the life we really want. Yet to do this, we must first find the courage to look at some of the disempowering, often unconscious patterns, which get in the way and don't serve to increase our quality of life.
Transforming From Victim to Creator
Like it or not, you are given many opportunities in life to choose to be a victim or to be a creator. When you choose to be a victim, the world is a cold and harsh place.
'They' did things to you which caused all of your pain and suffering. 'They' are wrong and bad, and life is rotten as long as 'they' are around. 'They' might be one or more individuals in your family or community. It might be the terrible politicians or your boss or the evil cabal of the power elite that rules the world. The essence is that 'they' are to blame for all your problems, because 'they' are ruining your life. And the truth is, your life is likely to stay that way as long as you see 'them' as having control and yourself as the powerless victim.
Those who choose to be creators look at life quite differently. They know that there are powerful individuals and groups who might like to control their lives, but they don't let this get in the way. Creators feel no need to blame anyone as they know that whatever happens, they have choice in the matter.
When Gandhi, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Nelson Mandela were put behind bars by those who wanted to control them, they used that opportunity to meditate, to write letters and books, and to inspire their communities to stand up and make a difference in the world. They were unstoppable, powerful creators who continued to have a very high quality of life until the day they died.
Victims relish in anger, resentment, revenge, and all sorts of emotions and behaviours that cause others to feel like victims, too. Creators consciously choose love, inspiration, empowerment, and other emotions and behaviours, which inspire not only themselves, but all around them to continually create the lives they want and the world we want to live in. Victims and creators live in the same physical world and deal with many of the same physical realities, yet their experience of this reality is worlds apart. From the perspective of quality of life, they hardly live in the same world. Yet whether they know it or not, they both always have choice in each moment to determine the direction of their lives through what they choose to do with what they are given.
In reality, all of us play the victim and all of us play the creator at various points in our lives.
Yet few people realize just how much choice we have in which role we play at any given time. One person, on losing a close friend or family member in a car accident, may feel as if it is the end of the world and sink into terrible suffering for months, years, or even a lifetime. Another with the same experience may choose to experience the grief of loss fully, yet in a relatively short amount of time move on to be a powerful creative force in their life. In every moment and every circumstance we can choose to be that creative force in our life.
Choosing a Quality Life
By choosing to see and inspire the creator not only in yourself, but in everyone around you, you can create powerful transformation in your life and world. If you have spent a lot of time in victim mode, it may not be easy to make the shift, but it is entirely possible.
By choosing to explore your core issues and habits and work to transform them, and by choosing to stop blaming others and take responsibility for your life, you can gradually make the shift. There will most certainly be times where you slip back into old patterns. But by continually reminding yourself of your intention to be a creator, you can transform your life.
None of us is perfect. We all have made and will continue to make mistakes and bad choices in our lives. When we fail, there is no need to blame ourselves or anyone else. We can choose to simply accept that we didn't do what we had intended and then work to understand why, so that we might do better the next time. Notice when you find yourself blaming others and stop for a moment. Take a look inside and ask, is it really empowering you to be blaming someone else, even though you may be sure you are right and they are wrong. Is this the quality of life you want, or is there something better and more fulfilling?
At times you will look back and realize that you let yourself be the victim again. Even when you fail at making the shift from victim to creator, you can be gentle with yourself.
You can accept that you didn't follow your intention and then do your best to learn from what happened. And there may even be times when, for whatever reason, you feel a need to play the role of victim for a while. If so, get into it and play the role fully. But remember while doing so that you are choosing this, and that you can just as easily choose to be a creator again as soon as you are ready. There's a time and place for everything.
One common trap which easily pulls people into victim mode is attachment. When we are strongly attached to anything, the possibility of suffering and loss is magnified. When the victim loses something to which they are attached, they easily become depressed or angry and blame others or even themselves for what happened. When creators realize they had attachment to something lost, they welcome the transformative power of letting go and work to understand and then release attachment. Their deep life intention is to experience each sacred moment of life to its fullest, without the need for the security provided by attachment. They know that even the most difficult experiences can be powerful teachers for us if we allow them to.
By fully accepting the past and allowing the future to be a great, unknown, infinite potential, creators fully trust that their dance with each sacred moment is a gift. They know that in the long run every experience can bring more meaning and a richer experience of life. They understand that storms are a natural part of life, which can bring the rain needed for emotional and spiritual growth. Creators also know that by choosing to nurture and inspire all around them to shift from victim to creator, life becomes better not only for themselves, but for all whose lives they touch.
You can have a higher quality of life right now by setting a clear intention to transform the victim within, and by inviting and welcoming into your life the powerful creator that you are.
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