Amazingly these 'afflictions' can be seen astrologically. That's right - you can tell by reading a man's astrological chart if he'll be able to be a good partner or not. These men can be insecure, weak, selfish, angry, or prone to long-term pouting... fun, fun!
Many women, not knowing how complicated astrology is, will wrongly want to blame these behaviours on a man's Sun sign. They'll call me up and say things like, "That's it! I'm never dating another Scorpio again!" But the truth is, there are good and not-so-good men (and women!) of every sign. And if it were as easy as simply avoiding certain signs, then we'd have all figured that out ages ago.
Whenever I see a woman that frustrated with a man, I can tell right away that his stars are to blame. So is the answer to end your relationship with your 'afflicted' man? Perhaps. Or maybe you just need the tools to turn this whole thing around!
Let's assume your man has some really wonderful qualities that make you stay in the game. These fantastic qualities a difficult man has make it all the more devastating when the less-than-great parts of him are taking over and ruining the party. If you love a man like this - moody, grumpy, whiny, defensive, or downright mean ~ then you know how hard it is to stay with him. However, if his behaviour is destructive to either you, your loved ones or to himself – you may be better off without him. Only you can decide.
But if your man is worth keeping - keep your eye on the prize and learn how to work with what you've got.
Start with how you interact with him. You have the power to run this relationship in a way that empowers you and brings out the best in your man, but you've got to take the lead. If he's being angry and cold, don't give him back 'angry and cold'. In fact, don't give him anything. Disconnect
. Give yourself a break and walk out the door. That's right, take a hike, go for a drive, to a movie, or meditate! Hold a higher vision for your relationship by not joining him in his dark, miserable man cave and see what happens. Don't feed the bears!
See, you have so much more power than you know. I've seen it time and again. I'm not saying his pathetic tendencies are your fault. Not at all! I've just come to believe that you can train (almost) anyone how to treat you and lead the way to love. As you recognize all of this, you know where you have to strengthen yourself. Learn how to inspire you both, instead of letting him drag the both of you down.
It starts with choosing to live from the dream of how you want the relationship to be, and having that wonderful, loving vision be your guide to help determine your
behaviour. So your behaviours come from your highest ideals, not from your lower self that's just responding to his lower self. In other words, if he's reactive and angry, you can't be reactive or angry back. If he's moody, you can't be moody back. If he criticizes you unfairly, you mustn't criticize him back. However, that doesn't mean you have to calmly take his bad treatment. In fact, stop taking his bad treatment entirely. Don't let him have so much power that you'd be anything less than gracious, wise, and loving.
How will you know if it's working?
First, you'll know you've empowered yourself to remove the craziness of trying to work with his tantrums. A warm and peaceful feeling will become your immediate companion as you unplug from his latest bad behaviour. You'll become more and more familiar with this empowerment, the more you practice. It's addicting in the sweetest way!
Second, he'll see that you've changed the game. He'll see that you aren't getting down and dirty in his sandbox. After a while, he'll likely get bored playing by himself in there and realize you've grown up and left him alone. He may react to this in any number of ways, but deep down he'll respect you for it. And, if your relationship is workable, he'll stop acting like such a child. You'll have shown him that you only deal with grown ups, so when he's around you, he may just start acting like one.
I've seen so many real-life success stories in my private practice of working with brave, willing women who were able to embrace ideas and tips like the ones I just shared, and completely turn their relationships around. They did this not by changing their men, but by changing themselves, which, in turn, had the magical, miraculous outcome of inspiring their men to change for the better, too.
Changing themselves didn't mean they couldn't be themselves, or that they had to suddenly cater to whatever the man wanted. Not at all. No, you stay in your positive, powerful, womanly strength and give him a 'time out' if he's rude, cruel, critical, defensive, belligerent, shutting down, or anything else that feels like punishment.
Over and over women have told me, to their amazement, how easy this is - how, once they're willing to stop fighting back and instead set healthy boundaries, honouring themselves first, they find it's astonishingly simple to shift their relationship from one of tension, hostility and pain to one of peace, harmony and joy.
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